Communication, Dating Advice

Single People: 5 Ways To Treat Yourself Better This Holiday Season

41 Comments 25 November 2009

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lonely winter walkBeing single during the holidays, frankly, sucks. From ancient relatives asking about the whereabouts of childhood crushes to advertising that consistently depicts joyful couples,¬†winter holidays are chock full of reminders that being single isn’t “cool.”

Instead of griping that you don’t have a darling to risk purchasing the wrong gifts for, why not take some time this holiday to give yourself some needed “me-time”?

With the assumption that you’re taking at least basic care of your body, here are 5 ways you can improve the way you treat your inner self over the coming weeks (and beyond):

  1. Make a pact. Find a good friend you can call whenever you’re feeling an urge to call one of your exes. Agree to make time for their call when it comes as they’ll do for you. This trick has saved me from following through on numerous bad decisions that could have really brought a lot more pain into my life. Walking in the woods on a snowy Christmas eve by yourself? Call your friend. Just a moment or two of conversation will do a lot to help you kick your mood and get back to the fun stuff.
  2. Seek out sustainable friendships. If you’ve only got time for quick phone calls and a get-together every few weeks, find people who understand your schedule and are glad to get what time they can from you. Trying to maintain relationships with time-hungry people will leave you feeling like you’re a bad friend. The reverse applies. If you’ve got lots of time, don’t chase the jet-set!
  3. Say “I Love You” to the people you love but aren’t sleeping with. Write yourself a note, whatever it takes to build “I love you” into your vocabulary so that when it comes time to say “I love you” it’ll come off your tongue easily. This is especially useful when you’re trying to tell somebody you know very well but aren’t yet sleeping with how you feel and that you’d like to change things!
  4. Practice Gratefulness. Get into the habit of showing appreciation for things. The more you do it, the more things you’ll notice that you appreciate! Simon goes into more detail on this concept in his¬†thanksgiving post on gratefulness (I hope you’ll check it out!). Life seems so much richer when you’re looking for good things.
  5. Be Selfish. That’s right, start making choices that will send you into the coming year with a smile on your face. Is there something you’ve been wanting to do for years but haven’t made the time for? Make it a priority. Can’t make it to a friend’s party because you’d miss a tutoring session with your Tagalog instructor? Your friend will forgive you and love you more for being a leader and seeking to fulfill your dreams!

aloneWhat about you? Have you come across any tips or tricks to help singles navigate the holidays with comfort and joy? Drinking heavily spiked eggnog and watching reruns is NOT an option!

Happy Holidays!


Image: Ahmed, Rodrigo Moraes

Single People: 5 Ways to Treat Yourself Better This Holiday Season


- who has written 34 posts on The Dating Papers.

S drinks a lot of tea and enjoys late-night walks on the beach. He lives with his beta, Balthasar.

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