Single People: 5 Ways To Treat Yourself Better This Holiday Season

Communication, Dating Advice

Single People: 5 Ways To Treat Yourself Better This Holiday Season

41 Comments 25 November 2009

lonely winter walkBeing single during the holidays, frankly, sucks. From ancient relatives asking about the whereabouts of childhood crushes to advertising that consistently depicts joyful couples, winter holidays are chock full of reminders that being single isn’t “cool.”

Instead of griping that you don’t have a darling to risk purchasing the wrong gifts for, why not take some time this holiday to give yourself some needed “me-time”?

With the assumption that you’re taking at least basic care of your body, here are 5 ways you can improve the way you treat your inner self over the coming weeks (and beyond):

  1. Make a pact. Find a good friend you can call whenever you’re feeling an urge to call one of your exes. Agree to make time for their call when it comes as they’ll do for you. This trick has saved me from following through on numerous bad decisions that could have really brought a lot more pain into my life. Walking in the woods on a snowy Christmas eve by yourself? Call your friend. Just a moment or two of conversation will do a lot to help you kick your mood and get back to the fun stuff.
  2. Seek out sustainable friendships. If you’ve only got time for quick phone calls and a get-together every few weeks, find people who understand your schedule and are glad to get what time they can from you. Trying to maintain relationships with time-hungry people will leave you feeling like you’re a bad friend. The reverse applies. If you’ve got lots of time, don’t chase the jet-set!

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The Four Seasons of a Relationship

Communication, The Scoop

The Four Seasons of a Relationship

44 Comments 19 November 2009

sunnyDo you have a favorite season? Most people experience seasons in a romantic relationship. In New England (the northeastern part of the United States) we have four seasons. Spring, Summer, Autumn, and Winter. In relationships, especially long-term ones, we can observe similar seasons.

Other reading: on Trust in a Relationship.

The Four Seasons of a Relationship

Spring – In the spring of a relationship, we experience the thrill of discovery, obsession, and emotional (and often, physical) penetration that precedes new growth and attachments. Springtime offers a mad rush of delightful sensations. Remember what it feels like to touch someone for the first time? The easy laughter when you got tangled in your own shirt?

Most of us are good at dealing with springtime in our relationships. We forget our past unhappiness and revel in rediscovered emotions. Springtime is easy.

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Mixed Bag, Sex

How To Have Safe Sex

6 Comments 01 October 2009

Not in the US? Try the YouTube version!

This highly amusing (we thought so, at least) video gives all the advice you need about how to have safe sex.

Most of us learned this information in high school and are regularly bombarded with reminders to “use protection” and practice safe sex. If the information has been spread and we know in our minds how to have safe sex, then why don’t more of us practice it?

  1. Because we make stupid decisions when we really like somebody.
  2. Safe sex isn’t especially fun & kills the notion of spontaneity.
  3. The decision to have sex is often made under the influence of one or more substances.

It would be great to see a video on how to have safe sex without seeming untrusting, boring, and generally unsexy.

I’m off to buy some plastic wrap. I substituted aluminum foil last night and it

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