You’re going on a first date with somebody special and you need some ideas of what to do? You’ve come to the right place! When I first started dating, my idea of a date was the stereotypical cheap-dinner-and-a-movie. Don’t hate on me, I didn’t know any better! By the time I finished high school I was pretty comfortable in my own skin and got pretty good at coming up with ideas for dates. I’ve put together a list of some of my favorites as well as some suggested by friends. Enjoy!

21 First Date Ideas

I’ve decided to split the list of first date ideas into outdoor, indoor, and “safe.” The last section is especially for those of you going on blind dates have no idea what you’re getting into! (Been there, done that!)

Outdoors

1. Go for a walk - This is such a simple first date idea but most shy away from it because they feel like they must do something complex in order for their date to be impressed. Wrong! The only ideas you need to impress your date with are the ones that you articulate as your conversation progresses. If you are an interesting person and have found a fun person to spend time with, rest assured that a walk about town will be just fine. Remember, the idea is to leave your date wanting more.
2. Watch an outdoor movie – Going to a movie is pretty worn out in the world of first date ideas. You can resurrect it in a fun way by going to see a movie outdoors or, even better, at a drive-in movie theater if you still happen to have one near where you live.
3. Create your own picnic – Pick a nice spot near where you’re meeting up and swing by a grocery store or take-out restaurant for some quick eats before setting up camp for food and conversation with your new favorite person. There’s no need to spend a lot of money. Picnics are supposed to be simple and you want it to be about getting to know your date, not truffles wrapped in gold foil!
4. Go boating – The idea of sailing on a first date seems like a recipe for disaster but something milder, like canoeing, row boating, or taking a paddle boat out on a sunny afternoon would work well. Admittedly, the last time I took a girl on a paddle boat for a date we both ended up soaking wet with marsh moss in our hair. It was amazing though!
5. Go for a run together – If running is your idea of a good time, an easy run with a new friend can make for a great date!
6. Volunteer at a soup kitchen – One of the best first dates I’ve ever been on involved meeting up with a woman at 5:30am to serve breakfast at the local soup kitchen. Not only did we get to know each other better but we got to do something worthwhile that helped our community. It’s hard to come up with a reason why giving back to your community could be considered a bad idea for a first date! If you don’t have a soup kitchen or other short-order volunteer opportunity, be creative and come up with your own. There is always somebody nearby who could use some help if we are willing to give it.
7. Get up insanely early and be the first customers at your favorite breakfast joint – You’ll get a chance to chat before the restaurant gets busy and have time to do some people-watching when the regulars start pouring in. Note: If you find somebody who is cool with rolling out of bed early to join you for a breakfast date, it’d be a bad idea to let them get away!

Indoors

1. Take an intro yoga or other fitness class – If you’re really out of shape, this might not be a great idea for a first date. Otherwise, pick a class that will fit both of your fitness levels and have some fun! You should know that getting hot and sweaty
2. Visit a psychic – Everybody likes to know the future, well, at least a prediction of it!
3. Visit a shut-in – This might not seem like it belongs on a list of first date ideas but if you step away from your preconceptions, I think you might consider it and even try it out. Visiting people who are unable to get out and enjoy regular social interactions isn’t just a worthwhile use of your time. It gives you a chance to learn a bit about the character of your date. Is he or she willing to spend time with people who are in need? If your date is unkind it will only be a matter of time before that unkindness is pointed at you. Seek the good hearts!
4. Play video games – PS2, Nintendo, Xbox, it doesn’t matter. If your date is into video games and you’ve got strong thumbs, it might be time for a bit of virtual smackdown! Just be careful not to beat your date too badly at whatever video game you decide to play. You don’t want your first date ideas to turn into video-game-inspired revenge ideas. =)
5. Take a music lesson together – Have you always wanted to learn how to play the guitar or some other instrument? Inviting a date along for a partner lesson at a local music school might be a fun way to start your lesson and get the much-dreaded first date out of the way.
6. Go to a used bookstore – It can be a new bookstore if you insist. It doesn’t matter! If you and your date enjoy reading and perusing books, hitting up a bookstore on a first date may just end up being one of the ideas that sets you on a quick course to true love.
7. Go gift shopping – Not for each other, but for somebody else. Perhaps you need to pick up a gift for your sister or some other relative and you need some insight into the process? Ask your date to give you some in-motion advice and perhaps even pick up something small for each other. Trinkets only. Save the cars and fur coats for later dates!

“Safe”

1. Take a cooking class together – Check your local community college or continuing education program for listings of cooking classes you can take if there isn’t a culinary school to be found.
2. Visit a tourist hot spot in your town that neither of you has been to before – Even if you’ve been living in the same place for years, there’s a great chance that you’ll have missed at least a few interesting places in your community. If it turns out that your chosen spot is a dud, get creative and come up with a few quick ideas to finish off your date. Most will give you a lot of slack if little things go wrong. Just keep the conversation interesting and the venue won’t be such a killer.
3. Attend a local film or music festival – It’s a rare individual who won’t enjoy a local festival at least a bit. This is a pretty safe bet for anybody but the most boring of people.
4. Meet up for a drink – This is one of the safest, and therefore one of the most-used first date ideas. You can make things a bit more adventurous by visiting a jazz club or finding a bar that will teach you to make new drinks. Of course, you could always go and grab some bottled water. =)
5. Visit a new restaurant – There’s a bit of risk in eating at a new restaurant because you can’t be sure of the quality but this first date idea still makes the “safe” list because it’s not hugely risky.
6. Eat in – Do you already have great cooking skills? If so, break ‘em out for an early dinner! You might want to check for possible food allergies before you start sharing your iron chef skills though.
7. Phone it in – Oh yeah, the date that consists entirely of talking into a small electronic device. This one is for all you cyber dating pros out there looking for first date ideas like you planned on doing something other than talking on your phone. =) All jokes aside, there are some benefits to phoning in. Sure, you don’t get to see your date’s face while you’re talking, but that also means that you don’t have to get dressed up or worry about what your face looks like. See? Might not be a bad idea.

Have any first date ideas you’d like to add? Leave them in a comment!

~Simon

Image source

by Jane Wonder

Who pays on the first date? I’ll tell you.

On a first date technically the person who asked should really pay. For me, this will always mean the guy because I will wait for him to ask. Honestly though, I’d prefer for the man to step up no matter what.

Which is not to say I expect that or don’t offer or won’t pay in the future. Every good female dater knows exactly how to handle this. In case you don’t know, let me explain…

The check comes. The woman should automatically reach for her purse and say something like “Let me help you with that.” This gives the man options. If he didn’t intend to pay the entire check, he can accept the offer without losing face or having to ask for money. If he did intend to pay, he can say “No, I’ve got this one.” The woman should then ask ONCE (and only once ladies) “Are you sure?” If he waffles at all, offer money. This next bit is important now. If he says he’s sure, look him directly in the eye and thank him for your meal. Continue Reading

Remember that old line about girls being sugar, spice, and everything nice? Elizabeth Lambert saw that societal mold coming and extended one of her long, muscular legs for a perfect trip. How? By playing soccer like a boy:

(If you ask me, the ponytail maneuver was pretty bold. She didn’t get a yellow card for that though. Not condoning her actions, but I love her pep and think the Refs were sleeping.)

Most guys aren’t interested in dating women like Elizabeth, Condoleezza, Hillary, or Michelle. Why? Because strong women with talent, focus, and goals are intimidating to those who aren’t so well equipped. Not just to men, but to people in general. It’s not just that men are avoiding strong women. Guys tend to avoid spending time with other guys who are much smarter, stronger, or somehow better-equipped than they are. Continue Reading

by Emma Frisoni

Ever wonder what to wear on a first date?

There I was, standing in my closet, swathed in a silk robe, towel wrapped around my head, champagne glass in hand. I stood wondering, yet again, what to wear on my first date with Jared.

The lucky Dior pumps were a must, but being 140 mm high, lilac and snakeskin, they only coordinated with a few outfits. I was going for the classy, sexy look but it seemed that all the classy outfits I tried on made me look like I was headed to afternoon tea. The sexy outfits I tried on screamed, ‘take me home with you’ – which I wasn’t going after either.

Channeling my inner Carrie Bradshaw, I slipped on the pumps, drew a belt around my robe, and seriously wondered if I could get away with it…

The above scene happens all too often in my world (basically my Saturday night ritual), and although I’ve never actually worn my robe out on a date, that doesn’t mean I haven’t seriously considered it. Confidence is the ultimate accessory, after all.

Luckily, I’ve learned a few things that simplify choosing what to wear on a first date. I don’t have it down to a perfect science yet, but I’m getting there. When my newly single BFF, Lanie, called me this past weekend, anxious about going on her first date in 2 years, I gave her all the tips I could think of. Here are just a few:

One thing to do and four to avoid when choosing what to wear on a first date:

1. Do dress for the occasion

I am a huge fan of getting dressed up. I love it and will use any and all excuses to get glammed up. But if you’re meeting a guy for the first time, you don’t want to make him (and you) uncomfortable by being over (or under) dressed. Don’t wear a sequined dress for a date to Sully’s for burgers and fries (one of my favorite places) or a mini skirt when hitting up L’Espailer.

2. Don’t wear anything too trendy

Although that dress or top may be red carpet worthy in your mind, your new guy isn’t going to recognize the beauty of it. Take my well earned advice on this one – it may seem like a hip, cool outfit, but there’s a good chance he won’t see the cool factor. I have 4 words for you: zebra printed strapless dress (no, not zebra pattern, an actual graphic of a zebra). Let’s just say he wasn’t nearly as impressed as I had anticipated.

3. Don’t wear anything strapless/low cut/spaghetti straps

This one may not seem like a don’t but it actually is. Guys are simple creatures and they have a difficult enough time focusing without your bare skin distracting them. This is an important one especially if you are going out to dinner because he’ll only be looking at your upper half for most of your time. (While you’re seated.) You want to focus on your date and vice versa and bare skin doesn’t help the situation.

4. Don’t go overboard on the makeup

I’ll spare you the details about the time I got a makeover at the MAC counter just before a date. Let’s just say it included me cowering in the wedge behind the John Hancock hastily wiping my face with baby wipes I bribed from a young mom on the steps outside Trinity Church, hoping against hope my date didn’t catch me acting like a homeless person trying to ‘bathe’. Too much makeup scares dudes. If your face looks too perfect, they’re going to be afraid to touch it, never mind kiss you on the cheek at the end of the evening.

5. Don’t wear something you don’t feel comfortable in!

Confidence is owning who you are inside and out. Even if you have the most gorgeous D&G frock for the night, if it doesn’t fit right or it just isn’t ‘you’ then it won’t work. Find pieces that fit well, are comfortable, and speak to who you are and you’ll be a knockout.

There you have it. I hope these tips help you and when in doubt, cinch a belt around your robe and walk around in your heels – anything you put on after that will look fabulous!

Do you have any tips to add on what ladies should wear on a first date or tale of a “wardrobe malfunction” you’ve experienced? Thanks for sharing!

~Emma

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Photos: carljones, swanky, vincent boiteau

Hey all! Seth here. I’m thrilled to welcome Emma to The Dating Papers and I hope you’ll give her a warm welcome. If you’d like her to write on something specific or just feel like saying hi, feel free to drop her an email or find her on Twitter. Thanks!

Sometimes, no matter how well a date seems to go, the last you’ll hear of her voice are the words “please leave a message”. You had fun, but she doesn’t call back. You enjoyed your meal or activity, but she doesn’t call back. She even said she liked you, but she doesn’t call back.

Why is that?

Maria and I went out for sushi then drinks at a bar overlooking the river. The weather was perfect. Our conversation was a mix of questions and comments, silence and laughter. Everything seemed to go well. 

When I dropped her off at her house, she even said “I had a really nice time. Call me!”. 

So I did. And she never called me back. Why?

The answer is agonizingly simple: Continue Reading