How To Get A Date

How Can I Get A Girlfriend?

Comments Off on How Can I Get A Girlfriend? 01 October 2011

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photo how can I get a girlfriendIf you’re wondering, how can I get a girlfriend?, you’ve probably jumped ahead of yourself but that’s okay! Having the end in sight is a good way to stay motivated throughout the process.

In the hope of being particularly helpful, I’ve put together some tips to help you in your journey from lonely boy to beleaguered boyfriend! Okay, I’m kidding about the beleaguered part. I’m sure you’ll end up very, very happy. 

1. Take a look at what you have to offer

To begin, you’ll want to take stock of what you have to offer as a partner. Are you kind, generous, smart, good looking, talented, hell, even rich? Instead of just focusing on how you can get a girlfriend, you should first focus on how you can be a boyfriend and let the getting part happen on its own.

The benefit of figuring out what you have to offer is that you also figure out some of what it is that you don’t have to offer. It’s that realization that will allow you some perspective as you’re considering potential girlfriends and deciding if you’re interested. Speaking of which, the next point:

2. Understand whether you have justification for being picky

Unless you came up with a long list of amazing traits, you’d best not be too picky and judgmental about your prospects. It’s fine to have a list of things you just can’t stand. But you should know what informs that list and what you’ve picked up from others and what stems from actual experience and self-actualized realizations.

Unjustified pickiness happens a lot when it comes to physical traits. There’s a lot of tolerance, at least in American society, for less-than-perfect males expecting to be partnered with stunning females. That’s a bit odd and, to be honest, it doesn’t actually happen all that often. Stay realistic and keep a smart head about you as you’re figuring out what to go for.

3. Work on being a great boyfriend

You don’t need a girlfriend to practice being a great boyfriend. How’s that? Well, you can practice being kind, gentle, funny, thoughtful, adventurous, and so many other traits of great boyfriends without having a specific girl you’re focusing all your attentions on. Most of the things one thinks of as being a trait of a boyfriend are traits of regular friendships. As such, they can be practiced with friends.

While you’re working on being a great boyfriend, you may find that you’re changing your tune from how can I get a girlfriend? to questions about how you can meet some new people and maybe make friends based on your current hobbies or interests. That’s a great way to find a girlfriend so be pleased that you’ve naturally fallen onto the right track if that’s what’s happened to you!

4. Start dating

Others have asked how do I get a date? and the short and simple answer is to ask a girl you like and want to spend more time with! That can be tough if you’re very shy and don’t talk to girls much but some girls think shyness is cute so your awkward introduction might be just the thing that wins her over.

Once you’ve found a girl you like who agrees to go on a date or two, you’re in a good place. Remember, you’re just getting started and you have a lot to learn about this new lady of yours but there’s a lot to be said for reaching out and getting something back from a person you like.

Don’t worry if it takes awhile before you end up on a third or fourth date. Good things are worth working for and waiting for. It’s tough to remember but relationships aren’t simple easy things for the most part. Lots of investment can yield amazing results if you stick with it!

5. Apologize quickly

There’s a lot of advice to be given about moving a relationship from the 3rd date to the tenth. The most important and perhaps less-than-obvious tip in answering, how can I get a girlfriend, is that you need to learn to apologize quickly and genuinely.

When you realize you’ve screwed up, say you’re sorry and mean it. If you make her sad, say you’re sorry and find a way to bring her smile back. If you make her angry, let her be angry then figure out a way to let her know you feel rotten about the part you played in the situation she’s angry about. Nothing cuts away at a relationship as quickly and deeply as the resentment that builds when a partner is offended and the other doesn’t make time to apologize.

That won’t be you though, right? You’ll work up to having an amazing girlfriend and keep her for a hundred years because she’s realized that you’re the best guy in the world. She might just be right.



- who has written 40 posts on The Dating Papers.

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