Dating Advice, For Guys

How To Date A Model

58 Comments 18 March 2009

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Seth asked me “Terry, how DO you date a model?” There are two possible questions there — one from the fellow who says he wants to date someone like Tyra, Christie, or Darcie (my girlfriend) or any one of the other supermodels who are out there. The other: “how on earth do you do that?”

Lets dispense with the bad news — this is not “Dr. Simpson’s black book of women in modeling, or his girlfriend’s contact list from her iphone.” Let’s expand the definition of model to anyone from the high school cheerleader to the local news anchor. We are going to assume there is a person out there that you feel you have an interest in – while she may be a physical beauty, you have more in common than just the pretty face (or other parts).

If the latest Madonna song “speaks to you,” and you think you want to have a date with Madonna based on that song — you are about two steps away from being a stalker.

So we are making a few assumptions here:

  • The model you want to ask out on a date is someone that you have a genuine interest in.
  • She is someone you can be introduced to (have some access to).
  • She who won’t be asking the sheriff to enforce a restraining order on you for previous behavior.

Start out with a few simple things

When it comes to beautiful women, there are a lot of guys who want to impress them. You do not need to be one. She gets a lot of goodies in life. You may think a lot of buying a bottle of Dom for dinner. Don’t be shocked that she doesn’t think much of it. Guys buy her stuff like that all the time. In fact, she’s probably tired of guys who think the next bottle of wine will win her over.


Now, if it is a bottle from your winery, that only you can get — and you know that she likes that wine – great. But for most people, this is not an option.

Money does impress, but chances are she has more than you and doesn’t want to talk about it. Why? Because before you talked to her, she was hit on by a billionaire, and while the thought of being Mrs. Billionaire crossed her mind, her fear of boredom quickly overcame it. She is used to guys throwing money around like confetti in a parade. If you have a lot of income, or money – she will learn soon enough. Until then, don’t try to buy your way into a date – that’s boring.

So what does she want? — shocking, but she wants someone she can relate to. Not that she expects you understand fashion, extensive travel, or five star hotels – just be someone to talk to.

Conversation and interests are the key. You have your job, whatever it is – -and some of that can be interesting. Just understand that most “shop talk” is about as interesting as discussing how high the corn is for a farmer. Most of us have a lot of outside interests. Yes, you can talk politics, religion, or any other issue with her as much as you would with any prospective mate.Model

When it comes to models, top models, or super models there is a perception, probably brought on by the show, “Next Top Model” that these women are not that smart. Trust me, it takes more than just beauty to make it to the top. Many models are well-traveled (for somewhat obvious reasons) and have wide interests including politics, the environment, nature, science, and the third world. Some have their own blogs (under pseudonyms), and a few Twitter. Having a great give-and-take conversation will give her reason to see you as thoughtful and interesting.

Where to take her? Think casual. If you think an high-end restaurant, like Babo, Chez Panisse, or Tarbell’s is a great first date– well, you are trying to impress her again. Stop! Why a casual first date? First, it takes the pressure off you to impress. Second, it means you can listen to her about things she wants or is interested in. If things go well there is plenty of time to eat out at great places, and if you cook –well, that is another bonus.

Do not assume you know what she likes to eat. One of my girlfriend’s good friends was taken to a steak house — which was fine, but her “date” didn’t know she was a vegetarian — and it kinda went over like a Baby Ruth in a swimming pool. On one of my first dates with Darcie, I asked what her favorite childhood food was — hot dogs. I asked if she still liked them, she did. We went to a great local hot dog place.

When a model goes to a casual establishment, she can dress how she likes, which often means many people won’t recognize her. That’s ok – -on a date you want people to leave you alone so you can learn about the each other. Here is a head’s up – -she won’t look the same in blue jeans and a baseball cap – -she will look great, but not quite like the cover of Vogue.squinty-model

Setting the stage for a good date allows you to feel comfortable also. It allows you to really talk to the person, and eliminates the background of a restaurant that is the show itself.

Also, If you take her to a casual place and it turns out you have nothing in common, well, you had a date with a supermodel and it didn’t cost you too much.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and classic beauty is an act of random genetics. Models are people, with interests, ideas, and imagination. Find that person, that inner person – that is the purpose of your date.

You can follow Dr. Terry Simpson on Twitter or read his blog at The Skeptic Doc.

photos via Flickr: PLJP, LHD, VB


- who has written 20 posts on The Dating Papers.

I like clothes that feel nice to wear, coffee without the bitter edge, granny smith apples, and making complex desserts. I like playing football in muddy fields, old pick-up trucks, and Belgian horses. I'd rather be alone than with somebody who is intentionally unkind. Details, I know... but we're all made of them. =)

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