Dating Advice

Making A Lady Smile: Clicky Shoes

17 Comments 20 November 2008

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I make no claims at understanding anybody fully. Instead, I see many people as possessing what I term “user manuals” that have useful information regarding that person. As you get to know somebody, you “add pages” to the manual you have on them and gain a better understanding of how they work and what keeps them in happy working order. Just as changing the oil regularly applies as a good practice in the maintenance of most cars, so there are some things that can be broadly applied to people. I’m more than happy to hear from exceptions. For the record, referring to a SigOt individually with use of automotive terms will not gain you points.

That said: The Deal With Ladies & Their Fascination With Clicky Shoes (Plus, what you can learn from this relationship!)

My first encounter with clicky shoes came in high school on the feet of Ms. Parinne. She taught Spanish to her students and instructed anyone in the vicinity on her footwear. She was a wide-hipped woman who wore thick wool jackets, bright scarves, and shoes that connected her body to the rest of the world in sharp, full bodied thunks against the tile floor.

I carried this memory with me as I dated girls through the years that followed. There was always the subconscious check to see if my date was wearing shoes that would announce her arrival to the world. In situations where I was able to observe different situations involving the same woman (read: multiple dates, different shoes), I noticed a remarkable difference in many behaviors.

In a word? These shoes and boots in their many forms all made the wearer, to some degree, feel fabulous.

Coclico by

Coclico by

Even a small heel made their calves seem more shapely, their hips sway with more ease, and clothes to swish a bit sexier. That’s the plan, at least.

Jessy showed up for late-afternoon coffee following a day of final exams wearing her favorite jeans and a pair of calf-length boots that clicked every step she took. Her clicky shoes gave her emotional strength.

Carlee wore a tiny pair of stiletto sandals that chirped more than they clicked as she walked with me on our late-summer eve date. Those shoes tore at her feet all night but I know she didn’t regret her choice to wear them with the cream strapless dress because when she walked, heads turned and were greeted by the view of a woman writhing with confidence. Her clicky shoes made her feel exotic and were worth the pain.

I met Andrea in a used bookstore and followed up our shopping with a cup of oolong. She was out spending a day off mid-week just hanging out with herself. She was making time in her schedule to find her center in the midst of a hectic work schedule…and her chunky shoes clicked softly against the table as we enjoyed our drinks and conversation. Her clicky shoes made her feel more comfortable in her own skin.

What is there to learn from clicky shoes? Dating, in many ways, is a lot like shoe shopping. Everybody wants a perfect pair of shoes that they love the feel and look of. We all know people who seem to have forced themselves into a “bad fit” as well as those who click along with ease. When a woman views you like she does her favorite pair of clicky shoes, you’ll know you’ve stood the test of the “breaking-in” period. Some tolerate more pain in this period than others. There is always a time of adjustment though. When a woman needs you like she does her favorite pair of clicky shoes, you’ve become the person who can take a terrible day and give her energy to continue one. She’ll tolerate any pain you cause because you make her feel better otherwise. And when a woman wants you around when she’s tired of the world and wants to connect with the things that make her happy…you’ve made things click!

Just something I’ve been thinking about. I’d be glad to read your thoughts!



- who has written 34 posts on The Dating Papers.

S drinks a lot of tea and enjoys late-night walks on the beach. He lives with his beta, Balthasar.

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17 Comments so far

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    • Victor says:

      A lot of dating sites will allow you to catere a profile without signing up for service. So catere a profile and put up a completely random picture for your profile image and women will flock to your page and give you their email and yahoo addresses. Then just add them to your yahoo chat and talk to them. That’s what I did. Of course I wasn’t actually trying to get a date. I was trolling.You probably shouldn’t put your face up on your profile. It’s probably a turn off, even if you’re not ugly. The vast majority of people who use internet dating sites put up someone else’s picture in hopes of attracting more people to their profile. That’s why most of the women you see there are stunningly beautiful. Just think, if they were really as attractive as they pretend to be, why did they have to turn to the internet to find a hookup? Internet dating is used by desperate people who can’t get a date any other way, and chances are, you’ll end up talking to either a 500 lb woman with acne all over her face or a troll. That’s why I will never use an online dating site.And also, the person you meet online could be a serial killer.

    • Jiffrey says:

      Ok, I downloaded Opera on both my laoptp and my phone. I see what you mean about the phone. My temp, short-term fix is I added a list of my pages on the sidebar specifically for Opera users! I did a test run on my phone, and it seems to be working, by which I mean I could read my blog. I didn’t run into any problems with the laoptp Opera browser. I hope this helps!

    • Raquel says:

      LOVE Santa Monica and Three Little Birds!Everyone I know has a networked blog on FB. Should I do that for mine? Would anynoe even fan it? Does that help your blog’s traffic, or at least reach out to other readers? I did read Scary Mommy’s FB Fan Page post, but have forgotten most of what I read because my brain has shorted out since then. This Belle Rocksb4s last blog ..

    • And you wonder why people think New Yorkers are a bunch of arrogant assholes.Actually, I did live there for several years and love the city to death. But the we're-better-than-everyone-else thing gets old in pretty short order. If you want to piss yourself off, and at least try to begin to understand how everyone else in the country feels about you, listen to Patton Oswalt's bit about New York City and why he doesn't live there.

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