Tag archive for "dating tips"

Who Should Pay On The First Date?

Dating Advice, First Dates, The Scoop

Who Should Pay On The First Date?

8 Comments 21 November 2009

by Jane Wonder

first-date-pays

Who pays on the first date? I’ll tell you.

On a first date technically the person who asked should really pay. For me, this will always mean the guy because I will wait for him to ask. Honestly though, I’d prefer for the man to step up no matter what.

Which is not to say I expect that or don’t offer or won’t pay in the future. Every good female dater knows exactly how to handle this. In case you don’t know, let me explain…

The check comes. The woman should automatically reach for her purse and say something like “Let me help you with that.” This gives the man options. If he didn’t intend to pay the entire check, he can accept the offer without losing face or having to ask for money. If he did intend to pay, he can say “No, I’ve got this one.” The woman should then ask ONCE (and only once ladies) “Are you sure?” If he waffles at all, offer money. This next bit is important now. If he says he’s sure, look him directly in the eye and thank him for your meal.

Continue Reading

5 Things A Man Should Never Criticize A Woman For

Communication, Dating Advice, For Guys, The Scoop

5 Things A Man Should Never Criticize A Woman For

66 Comments 28 September 2009

You don't want to unleash thisGuys, here’s a quick-and-dirty list to help you stay out of the doghouse.

Never criticize a woman for…

1. Her Weight

The lightning isn’t striking any closer, your lady’s thighs just have some added thunder. You, being the observant kind of guy who will step over a pair of pants on the bedroom floor for three weeks but instantly notice every blemish on her body, feel compelled to make a comment. SHUT YOUR FACE. Seriously. Say nothing.

Here’s why I recommend silence when it comes to directly discussing her weight:

1. She already knows about the weight gain – Telling her that you noticed the change in her body won’t go over well…especially since you’re probably not good about noticing positive details.

2. It’s probably not something she wants – There’s a reason “Biggest Gainer” with Roseanne Barr as the outspoken eating coach is not a hit TV show. Most people would like to lose a bit of weight and chances are that your lady is feeling a bit frustrated and powerless over her body right now.

When you criticize her body, you criticize her at what can often be a very emotionally-charged and intensely personal level of her identity.

Not sure what I mean? Example: If she suggested that you try out a new penis-enl@rgement medication, how would you feel? C’mon! She’s just making a helpful suggestion about something she knows you’d like to change! Get my drift? Good.

Continue Reading

4 Things I Should Tell You Before We Start Dating

Dating Advice, Get Over It

4 Things I Should Tell You Before We Start Dating

31 Comments 26 August 2009

by Coralie AmatoFeetOver the past three years, I’ve been through three break-ups. The first was my six year marriage. The second was an eight-month-long relationship with a long-lost friend. The third was a five month long relationship which came out of the blue. That last one was with someone I came to know in such a random way, but who touched me deeply. I’m fortunate to still have friendships with all of them, even my ex-husband, although that’s more for the sake of the child we had together.

I’m sure everyone wonders if there’s something they could have said or done that would have turned the tide and stopped the breakup. In reality, there’s probably no one thing that could have saved the relationship. After all, relationships rarely fall apart because of isolated incidents.

Since I’m still friends with all three of these people, I’m able to tell them what I think of the time I was with them. For instance, what I feel about how the relationship progressed and how it ended. Strangely enough, while in the midst of a relationship, we don’t always feel so free to actually say some of the things we want to say.

I wonder if there are things I should warn a future partner about before we even start dating. The good things about me are fairly obvious straight away—probably the things that cause the attraction in the first place—but the ‘bad’ things often don’t show up until further into the relationship. If I was to warn someone of those more negative aspects of my personality, these would be some of the things I’d say

1. I can be needy.

To paraphrase one of my favourite movies, I’m the worst kind of woman: I’m high-maintenance, but I think I’m low maintenance. Let’s face it: in general, women are more emotionally needy than men. You need to give me a steady supply of attention. It doesn’t have to be flowers every day. Just regular reassurance with little things such as a hug, a kiss on the cheek, or a touch in passing to let me know you care, or a text message to let me know you’re thinking of me – even if you’re not. How needy I become is inversely proportional to how much of those bits of attention you give me.

2. I hate being left in the dark.

When you go into your ‘cave’ to think about things, I need to know if it’s about me. I don’t need to know all the details, I just need to know if I should be worried.

3. I often think it’s my fault.

If discussions with friends prove anything, I suspect that most women are wired this way. For some reason, I think that whenever you’re in a bad mood, it must have been something I did. When you’re grumpy, I feel as though it’s my responsibility to make you feel better. I have to consciously try to stop myself thinking that I’ve caused you to feel however it is that you’re feeling. I have to convince myself that I don’t need to make you feel better. Perhaps it’s an evolutionary thing; to be successful at nurturing, we need to feel responsible for the emotional state of the people closest to us.

4. Sometimes I’m insecure.

This is another thing with which most women seem to suffer. I consider that I have quite a healthy self-esteem; a much healthier self-esteem than most woman have, in fact. But when it comes to relationships, my expectations are much higher and when those expectations aren’t met, I feel insecure – much more insecure than I’m used to feeling. I wonder if those expectations are too high, but then, if this is the person you’re thinking of being with for a long, long time, isn’t it right that your expectations of them are greater than that of a friend?

If I did tell someone these things about myself, would they run a mile before the first date even occurred? Is it really better to know in advance?The Kiss

Would you like to know these sort of things about someone you’re considering dating? Or would you prefer to just enjoy the pleasantness at the beginning and find out about the more difficult aspects of their personality as you get to know them? Are you with someone now whom you love to bits and pieces and you’d never want to leave them, but if you knew then what you know now, you might never have asked them out? If this was the case, you might have missed out on something wonderful, right?

Your thoughts? I’d like to know!

Photo credits: shareen, corie howell

4 Things You Should Know Before We Start Dating
————————————————————————————————-

I live in Brisbane, Australia. I’m a gadget freak, a greenie, a bit of a hippie Mum to one small boy, and a word geek. I try to be as environmentally friendly and ‘live and let live’ as possible – except when it comes to cockroaches.

Follow Coralie on Twitter or Check out her site!

© 2009 The Dating Papers. Powered by Wordpress.

Daily Edition Theme by WooThemes - Premium Wordpress Themes