Tag archive for "questions"

Have I Found The One?

Dating Advice

Have I Found The One?

41 Comments 17 August 2009

Have I found the one? We all tend to ask ourselves if we have found the one at some point in a relationship. You know, the person who makes you suddenly believe that nobody else could ever come even close? Yep, that one.

I recently asked the following question on Twitter:

“Married Peeps: What 140 characters of advice would you give to a single guy/gal who thinks “this one” might be “THE one”? Thanks!”

Have I found the one?

The responses were thoughtful, heartfelt, and humorous at times. I’ve placed the best answers below for you to peruse and perhaps even learn something from. Enjoy!

Relationship Advice - Happy Couple

“Establish that your values are mostly similar & your opinions mostly different—& keep it that way.” – Daniel Thurston

“There is no ‘the one.’ But the one you choose for life becomes the one. Advice- Treat her like the one, and make yourself the two!” -Jay Brock

Relationship Advice - Arguing Couple

“New serious couples should discuss/weigh the big things (kids, church, money, heritage). It’s not all about romance.” – Dave Peckens

“My advice – There’s no “think.” You feel or you know, but thinking gets you in trouble.” – Ray Hartjen

Relationship Advice - Tired Couple

“Advice: Give it a yr or 2 & have UR own lives.Focus on character, similar interests, how look at $/religion and values>then vows.” -Stacey Ross

“Don’t hyphenate when you marry! If she is the one, you still have to work at letting her know that, year after year.” – Rob Kerley

Relationship Advice - Windy Couple

“Have you had a real fight? If not start one. If so, can you do it with love and respect? If not, wait until you can!” – Jesse Friedman

“What do you know about his/her childhood? family issues — and relationship w/siblings & live parents — will impact marriage. Dysfunctional family relationships in potential spouse not a deal breaker. But go in w/eyes open.” – Sarah Gilbert

Smiling Couple - Relationship Advice

“If you “think” they are the one, then they are not. When you know, you know.” – Michel Fortin

“Can you take a week-long vacay with her and not get into any blow-out-type fights? If yes, you’re well on your way.” – Arik Hanson

Relationship Advice - Happy Old Couple

“Have patience. If you don’t have it, learn it. and if you have it, get more.” – Justin Parks

“Marriage is 10% bliss and 90% forgiveness of the other person’s shortcomings. Hard work but worth it.” – Nictos

Relationship Advice - Silly Couple

“[you’ll need (to be)] Sense of humor; thoughtfulness; supportive; understanding; be impressed by each other; unconditional trust; separate bank accounts.” – Teri Rehkopf

“If she doesn’t help inspire you each day, she’s not the one. Just working on 34 years, tho, so could be something different.” – Michael Whitlow

Relationship Advice - Inspiration

I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I did. If some bit of advice resonated with you, take a moment to get in touch with the author (names link to websites) and say thanks!

Have I found the one? If you have a bit of advice you’d like to add, share it in a comment. Thank you!

Photo credit: adwriter, is katz, skedonk, carlos nicora, theerin, fotorita, mad mannequin,


Kissing Frogs and Chemistry

Dating Advice, For Girls

Kissing Frogs and Chemistry

22 Comments 07 August 2009

by Emma FrisoniHow do I know He's Really A Prince Inside?

Ever get the feeling you’re being too picky about a guy?

We were at La Voile, dining on whatever it is one eats when they go to a French restaurant. Tucker had ordered for both of us, in flawless French, so I had no idea what was on my plate. It was delicious though!

He had impeccable manners – brought me flowers, opened doors, pulled out my chair, etc. The conversation didn’t lack either, we debated President Obama’s first months in office (he: skeptical, me: impressed) and then the talk drifted to our childhood heroes (he: Superman me: She-ra Princess of Power).

Fast forward 2 days: A delivery of cupcakes from Party Favors and an invitation to dinner on Saturday night. I called Lanie right away so we could munch on fantastic cupcakes, sip pink prosecco and discuss The Problem.

What problem? Yes, there was one.  I just didn’t feel it.

The butterflies, the excitement, all the things the princesses experience in the fairy tales we read as little girls and dream about as we grow up. It wasn’t there.  He was intelligent, good looking, sweet and did all the things our ‘princes’ are supposed to do. But he wasn’t MY prince.  Not for lack of trying, and certainly not because he wasn’t worthy, but because I didn’t feel those butterflies that ‘everyone’ talks about.

As Lanie and I munched our way towards a sugar high of monumental proportions, we pondered if the butterflies really meant something or if the fairy tales we dreamed of as girls had led us to a romantic lifetime of disappointment.

This wasn’t the first guy I’d stopped seeing because I didn’t feel the butterflies, but Tucker was the first ‘perfect’ guy I gave up for no apparent good reason.  Since he wasn’t my prince, did that make him a frog?  If so, did I cast off an intelligent, good looking sweet frog just because he was a frog?

As women, we’re conditioned to settle for nothing less than perfect.  In some areas of life this makes us quite successful. (I still get compliments on those Chanel pumps I suffered a black eye for down in Filene’s Basement when that bitch claimed she had them first) In others, we become so engrossed in what society has taught us is ‘right’ that we look past the good guys and toward the unattainable.

The importance of “chemistry” in a relationship is something I wonder about often. How much do the sparks really matter in the end? Have you ever “settled” for a frog that later turned into a prince?

I’d love to know your thoughts!

Love, Emma

Kissing Frogs and Chemistry | The Dating Papers

photo credits: mait jurado, jay


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