Comments on: The Mandate: Beating Bias

By: Seth

Seth — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 05:56:53 +0000

Moe: I know, as a guy, that I’ve definitely experienced it! The experience of that person who “just grew on me over time” is a very real thing.

We definitely owe it to ourselves and to others to not let petty preferences guide us in big choices like love and friendship!

Thanks for your thoughts!

Seth

By: Moe

Moe — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 17:21:13 +0000

It is definitely important to step outside one’s usual boundaries when it comes to finding someone to spend time with (obviously there are things that we just can’t get over–I think you mentioned smell). There have been men who I was not immediately attracted to in the visual sense but after spending time and learning other qualities an attraction developed. Perhaps this is only a one sided thing. Do men not experience this as well? I think we owe it to ourselves not to be limiting by our initial cues in all types of relationships.

By: Seth

Seth — Thu, 01 Jan 2009 03:21:18 +0000

Zara: You’ve compressed everything into a wonderfully short sentence. I’m jealous! =) Really though, learning flexibility is really tough but hugely rewarding. I’m so blessed to have people in my life who taught me this early on!

Kevin: Thanks! And thank you for taking the time to let me know you enjoyed it. I appreciate the conversation!

Best to you!

Seth

By: Kevin Jackson

Kevin Jackson — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 06:24:14 +0000

Seth, you are an excellent writer, and I thoroughly enjoyed your post!

By: Zara Green

Zara Green — Sun, 28 Dec 2008 17:53:28 +0000

What a GREAT post!

To embrace life as a teacher of never-ending adventures rejecting biases – makes it such an interesting worthwhile journey.

Flexibility People…allow & learn.

Thank Seth!

By: Seth

Seth — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 07:39:27 +0000

LO: I hear you, man. I miss out on all the women who want a guy less than 6ft tall. I completely agree with you on the need for us all to expand our mindsets when it comes to dating and reach out to more people. I’m glad you enjoyed it.

Best to you! I’m really looking forward to spending time with my family over the next few days. I hope you have the same luxury!

Seth

By: Luvologist

Luvologist — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 06:58:15 +0000

Sometimes I hear women say they prefer a man who is over six feet tall. They don’t understand men who are over six feet tall are in the small minority.

If people open their eyes and realize there is a bigger world out there besides their ‘preferences’ they will get what they want.

This was a good read.

Have a Happy Holidays!

By: Seth

Seth — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 05:34:41 +0000

Ezra: Wow! “”a “date” is just the beginning of a relationship, whether it results in sex or not.”" I wholeheartedly agree.

The single mom situation you were a part of is unfortunate. Mostly because there are probably many other ways in which she could have approached the subject that might have freaked you out a bit less. The date I spoke about in my MSM post just blurted out the facts. The prize-winner blurted out an entire list of reasons why she “wasn’t good enough” on our first date! Rejection causes people to do interesting things. I try to take it in stride! Seems like you’re on the same road.

Nikki: How’d you know about my gooey middle!?! =) I get what you mean though. I really hope you have great success when you do start to date again. Finding an amazing person really helps to blur all the disappointment that came before them!

Thanks for your comments. Best to you!

Seth

By: Nicky

Nicky — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 02:26:23 +0000

Thanks for this story. I could not agree more that in this dating world there are so many different people to choose from, even when you are asked what you “type” is there is never a definate to what you like.
I have dated many different kinds of people in my life and come to the conclusion that know matter what they seem like, there is always that gooey middle in them, that is never exactly what you would think it would be. I, being a single mom, have not yet tackled that challenge in trying to date again. I don’t know if it because I am not ready or to scared of being hurt again. I know that day will come, but not looking for it as intensely as I did when I did not have a child. Thank you for your advice Seth it always makes me think!!!
Have a Great Holiday

By: Ezra Butler

Ezra Butler — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 00:47:55 +0000

This post caused me to read your other post, which was basically what happened to me last week.
Three days into chatting and talking, it just slipped that she couldn’t meet me due to having to pick up her three yr old from the babysitter.
“Does this change anything?” She asked.
The truth is, that it freaked me out a bit (illogically, cause I love kids), but the fact that she is probably 10 years older than I thought she was did change things a bit.

I agree with this post, however, completely. I go out and do dinner with
new and old friends, gay and straight, men and women, good looking and other, and I must admit that it does confuse people to no end.
I like spending time with people, and believe that a “date” is just the beginning of a relationship, whether it results in sex or not. Every relationship is based on conversation and chemistry.
Ok, so I may not be mirroring your post completely, but i understand where you are coming from.
Cheers.