Let’s be honest: some emotional wounds are equally painful as if they were real physical injuries. Losing your beloved person and facing a period of loneliness, especially if the breakup was ugly and relationship long-lasting and deep, may be truly tough and cause some serious consequences.
We all react differently to emotional trauma and take different time span and methods to get over, hence there is no “one size fits them all” strategy for recovering from a tough breakup.
However, there are some common mistakes people make during this period that actually make the things worse. Here are some useful advice on what to do and what to avoid to facilitate after – breakup period to yourself.
Avoid rewinding the tape
Aside from getting used to pain and feeling of empty spaces and disturbed habits after someone special has gone, one of the most challenging tasks is to prevent your mind from getting stuck in piles of memories. We all know the feeling when every tiny object or common scene or song has dangerous potential of teleporting your straight into some dear past moments and days.
There is no way you can avoid memories, that’s for sure. However, there’s something psychologists call rumination – a term describing obsessive hanging over the same thoughts and pictures, which has quite a negative effect onto the healing process. Thus, it’s ok to allow yourself to be reminded, but try occupying your brain with reading or movies or games or whatever works ones it starts rewinding the same old movie over and over again.
Don’t force or fake happiness
Maybe not all the emotions are pleasant, but they are surely useful if we learn from them, let them influence our personal inner growth, strengthen us for future challenges and after all – enrich our total collection of life experiences. Therefore, you shouldn’t drown in your sadness, but you shouldn’t run away from it either. Don’t force happiness, because it will only make you anxious and the undigested emotions will nevertheless wait around the corner.
Allow yourself the bad moments and episodes of weakness. Just train yourself not to lose the ground and get overwhelmed by dark phases. Also, try to cheer yourself via small steps. Even if you don’t enjoy doing various things you like right from the start, keep doing them. One step at a time and you will walk your way out of the tough days.
Implement novities in your routine
Since the breakup catches us unprepared for the change we usually don’t want, it’s hard to let go the old, emotionally soaked, habits. On the other hand, implementing some new rituals, trying things for the first time, visiting some new places and finally – meeting some new people will help you realize that some new chapter in life waits for you.
Dose carefully social life and surround yourself with supportive people you trust. Friends won’t compensate the lover, but they will certainly make you feel less alone. Finally, never reflect breakup onto your self-esteem and try keeping in mind that in the relatively near future, all of it will be a dear memory.