Comments on: Weeding Weird: The Interview

By: Seth

Seth — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 08:56:43 +0000

Carolin: It’s not about looking for faults as much as it is about looking for somebody with a set of faults that do not prevent you from having a sustainable rewarding relationship.

Love that doesn’t see the faults of another is not love. It’s a blind crush. I’d much prefer to see her faults and still find myself loving her. I know it’s true that way.

They do things differently in Sweden? =)

Thanks for stopping by!

Seth

By: Carolin Dahlman

Carolin Dahlman — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 08:31:36 +0000

Seth, Why are you looking for faults immediately? You will always find them you know… Don’t you rather find love?

Carolin Dahlman, love coach.

By: Seth

Seth — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 02:59:44 +0000

T.S.! I haven’t had a conversation with my DNA yet so I’m still in the dark on the pheromone explanation. Sounds very interesting though. I’ll be certain to look it up and see what I can learn about it!

Assuming there are multiple people with whom you could have healthy children; how would you go about picking one? Is this DNA-based mating radar specific to you only or does it occur among the general public as well?

And if we’re all just trying to find the best person to have children with, how do you explain homosexual sex drives? In this instance, are the pheromones right but the genders don’t match?

Those come to mind initially. I’m delighted that you like the blog and even happier that you’ve found something that gives you hope for a long and rewarding relationship with your husband.

Thanks for visiting and best to you!

Seth

By: T.S. Elliott

T.S. Elliott — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 02:26:24 +0000

Dude, this log had so many comments – I didn’t have the time to read all of them. Are you kidding, you are like famous now. No wonder you don’t have time to come over to my site sometime!!! Well, you want to know how I determine if a relationship will have lasting value?
Of course not, but it was simple for me – DNA and biological drive. I can tell immediately (within 5 minutes) if I am attracted to someone’s pheromones. They say that our DNA tells our brains who we are most likely to have healthy children with by their pheromones. Once this happens to me, I can’t turn it off. Hence, that is why my husband and I will probably be married forever. It is some chemical process in my head that I have no control over.
Really, it doesn’t matter what he does. I can’t stay away from him. Maybe you could look it up, they have proven that love is just a biological process, has little to do with emotions. We are all just trying to find the best person to mate with.
Nice blog, Seth!!!

By: Sara

Sara — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 23:29:45 +0000

#3 is my favorite. My date would have to invite his father AND his mother to upstage my worst.

By: Sex on the First Date « Hammertime

Sex on the First Date « Hammertime — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 20:09:46 +0000

[...] first date and I want to weigh in on my perspective. The discussion first started in the comments here on Seth’s blog and crossed over into the twittersphere (tm?). But when I saw this post on Ask [...]

By: Seth

Seth — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 04:39:34 +0000

Infinity: It’s great to know that you’ve successfully made use of these types of questions. Yes! There’s very little worse in a relationship than only realizing after months (or even years) that you have invested so much in the wrong person. Drama and pain galore!

Shawna: I think it’s great that you’ve also discovered that there are many ways to find fulfillment in a relationship!

In terms of arguments, it is so very important to approach disagreements with an eye for understanding and a longing for acceptance. You might check out “Baring Breasts: Courting With Acceptance” as another place I’ve written about this idea.

Another thing I’ve learned is to avoid associating a way of thinking with a specific age! I’ve known wise 7 year-olds and mildly pre-pubescent 65 year-olds! People are full of surprises. The internet increases this factor ten-fold.

I really hope this is the spot for new insights and horizons. For us all! I get so much out of these conversations in the “cellar” below each post. I am grateful to each of you for sharing your voice.

Best to you!

Seth

By: Shawna

Shawna — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 03:24:21 +0000

To Hammer’s “The only real way to answer the question as to whether you’ll want to continue talking to them after you’ve fucked them is by fucking them.” One does not have to even take a philosophy class to know that this is a poorly formed arguement. A better one would be: the only way you’ll know if you will want to continue talking with someone after you have sex with them to think about whether or not you would like to talk with someone after you have sex with them.

If you enjoy talking with someone, you will continue enjoying the conversations whether or not the sex happens, and/or even if the sex does not reach your expectations. Seriously. If you think relations are all about sex, rather than sex being part of a healthy relationship, then you are still are the developmental level of a fifteen year old.

If this site is about “three minutes to a better _date_” then maybe you need to look elsewhere to solve the issues you are dealing with. Then again, this might be just the spot for new insights and horizons.

By: Infinity

Infinity — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 01:33:26 +0000

You’re on the money with this, Seth! I agree that it’s important do get those things out of the way very early.

When looking for a lasting relationship, you have to look for common pillars that are going to be the foundation. Ignoring those things that are important to you will just set you up for inevitable failure down the road.

You can only ignore it for so long.

So I think it’s fair to never short-change yourself and look for responses that you feel are qualified enough to progress the relationship.

And I used to not ask these questions before and I would figure I would find them out later. Always a bad choice, especially when you finally find out and it’s not what you were hoping for – family specifically.

By: Seth

Seth — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 23:31:02 +0000

Tina:

I appreciate your concern! However, I’m more worried about any dating experience you may have had with the unabombers you seem to have had contact with. Do you think any of the questions in my post would have helped you weed them out before you developed an emotional attachment? I’d love to hear your story!

I’m sorry I won’t be able to count on you for insight on my “dating manifesto.” I so looked forward to reading your thoughts!

Best to you!

Seth