by Amelia Holzapfel
My 13 year-old cousin recently asked me what I thought to be the right age for her to start having sex.
Cousin: What’s the right age to start having sex?
Me: What’s the right age to start having babies?
Cousin: Um, probably 20 years old. At least not until you have a job you like.
Me: Then you probably shouldn’t start making babies until you’re the right age to have them.
Cousin: What if I don’t let him (her 15 year-old boyfriend) put it in my, um, in me?
Me: In your vagina?
Cousin: Yeah.
Me: Then you’ve still got a whole list of things to worry about. Do you really want to have sex with him?
Cousin: Well, yes. Mostly? All the other girls are doing it with their boyfriends.
Her mom walked into the room at this point and we didn’t get a chance to finish the conversation before I left. I owe her a phone call and I can’t help but feel like I don’t have a good answer for her.
What’s the right age to start having sex?
When you take pregnancy out of the equation and you’re dealing with a young teen who feels invincible and is convinced her boy is clean, how do you convince her to wait? Should she?
What’s the right age to start having sex? I know I wish I’d waited. But I don’t know how I’d have convinced myself as a 14 year-old (just one year older than my cousin is!) to ignore what other girls were doing and wait for a guy who was actually interested in me as a person.
Do you have any insight you’d be willing to share? I’d love it if you took a moment to chime in on this!
Love, Amelia
19 Comments
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